HOPE (11 months into widowhood)

A few days ago i was on the phone to my brother in-law and as we shared the great memories of my dear husband I said to him, if someone had sat me down 11 months ago and predicted that on the 7th of September 2012 my beloved husband will meet his creator I was certain that i would have had some sort of physical exchange with such a person. Firstly i would have seen it as the most wicked of all thoughts and secondly why would anyone want me to go on that kind of a journey. I didn't know what to expect after Demola's passing neither did i know i would come this far but Indeed the the word of our God will stand forever (Isaiah 40:8) concerning  us. 

In the past months I have gotten to know myself a lot more and if I were to describe my journey so far I would say:

Widowhood can be compared to the wilderness, in the sense that sometimes you have the hope of getting out alive and other times it seems there simply is no way out and you are been swallowed by quicksand.  Aside from that it also feels as though you are on a never ending roller coaster ride where your emotions sometimes go wild and uncontrollably and on other times they are high with excitement. All of these and more became my personal experiences which drove me deeper in my thoughts as i sought to know whom God really was and if he really existed why then  did he allow this upon me. But you see there is that part in the bible that says before I formed you in your mothers womb I knew of thee ( Jeremiah 1:5) yes that is God's confirmation that before i became aware of  my widowhood journey he knew it will come my way and he made a way out for me. 

As days turned into months I was more determined to work for God, it was my way of thanking God for so much. As i dug deeper into scriptures and realized no matter your challenges it really is up to you with the help of God to get out alive. I became aware that my challenges were out to make me stronger and therefore I  must not allow my challenges create a strong hold in my life because it would have been a recipe for destruction. And since God had confirmed that in the many trials that will come our way he will deliver us from them all (Psalm 34:19) i truly had no option but to trust him a great deal to help me through my own challenges. NOW I know and seriously believe that if  you have no power within you to change the position of your challenges, you must simply let go of them as though they never existed and stop anymore pain from dwelling within your system and just LET GOD.

I stand today with great gratitude towards God for his love, his strength, his eyes which he has given to me that enables me to see the beauty of my challenges and to understand that trials and pain are temporary and with him it can be all wiped off. Although I still have my days when I cry in disbelief that my best friend is no more and still get tempted to ask God why, however today God has made me a much stronger woman. Now i believe the Lord is on this journey with me and constantly he proves himself tremendously in my life. He has placed around me the strongest support system every and has since changed my position a great deal. I no longer feel lost as I did six months ago because God had to heal me and then reposition me to see him much clearer. Now I  see a new me and in my newness I am serving the Lord with a Happy Heart. 

PRAYER

Dear Father,

I say thank you for this journey so far, for the strength you have given to me because left to me it would have been over a long time ago but you made it possible for me to see a new HOPE and so Lord I thank you.

I pray for all other widows who are struggling to get out of the wilderness, my dear father please open their eyes and heart to see that they can do it because you dwell within them. Help them to see your love and a new HOPE and help them to see the beauty in their trials. Dear Lord strengthen them some more to do your will.

In Jesus name I Pray

Amen

Your daughters Behin-D-Veil