GETTING BACK ON MY FEET

"Lord Keep me busy, keep me active, keep me going in the absence of my dear husband", this is my everyday prayer. Back in the summer my pastor approached me and said, "Layo, I would like you to be the Team leader of the drama group", surprised at his request I said, "wow! that's huge". I went away and prayed to God and He gave me the all clear and so I started work with a group of great people. As I explored further, digging deep into my creative sides, I became extremely busy running God's business and by September we had our first dance performance at the first ever Women Of Dignity magazine launch party in Greater Manchester. We launched a great magazine fully loaded with resources to heal, bless, inform and educate women and I was thankful to have featured in it. By the end of October, another article I wrote was also featured in the October issue of the Genevieve magazine in Nigeria. It was fun and aside from writing articles I saw myself working round the clock; from dance performances to film production where I multi-tasked as the makeup artist, cast member and team leader, not forgetting to mother my babies and also take make up bookings for weddings. Hence, the 3months long silence away from blogging. I am truly thankful to my Father who never leaves nor forsakes me, who answers my prayers in His own time. He truly is the husband, judge and defender of every widow. I am being reassured everyday of His love and so it's important for every widow to remember who they are in Christ. That brings me to the discussion on the treatments widows face around the world.

With a little spare time to hand, I watched a video clip and was deeply sadneed at what I saw. In this video clip, a respectable man in a high place of authority displayed his lack of love, sympathy and welfare for another human begin. As I watched in amazement at the treatment  a poor widow had received from this leader who claimed to have acted out of anger and on the grounds that this poor widow had broken the law by selling at the road side and causing obstruction to others in the process. Although she had done wrong breaking the law, she was obviously trying to survive. However, when you hold a place of authority, matters brought to your attention must be handled  diplomatically. Not only was she publicly humiliated by this leader, he also made her weep as she begged for mercy. My spirt was weakened, unhappy and angered at that point, but then I realized it just shows the level of understanding some people have and just because one is in a high place of authority doesn't mean anything to some people. It's ironic because the man in question is a widower and in a position to make a great difference but he misused the opportunity. It only shows the kind of  treatments widows are prone to.

Although his actions generated controversy, I believed it also raised awareness  to the sufferings widows face around the world, most especially in the 3rd world countries. Honestly, there are many others like him in our churches, at our place of work, in our families and amongst our own dear friends. So what role do you play in the life of a widow? James 1:27, "Religion that God our father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after the orphans and the widows in their distress and to keep oneself from begin polluted by the world". As Christians, how many of us pay attention to the widow who seats next to us every Sunday in church and when was the last time you checked in on her and her children just to see how she is doing. Please note that just because she wears a smile each time you see her doesn't necessarily mean all is well. She may not need your food supply but a quick visit, a phone call or a text message just to let her know that she is in your thoughts will surely go a long way.

And to you her dear friends, so her status has changed not because it's her preference but who is she to question God. Don't worsen matters by avoiding her like a  plaque, instead show some love and support all the way. STOP the bad talks, unpleasant words and remember her life should not be your next topic of discussion. She is trusting God and also doing her best with what she has left. Matthew 22:36-40 says, 36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” 37 And He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the great and foremost commandment. 39 The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ Loving your Neigbour as yourself simply means seeing yourself in oneness as you see them. That colleague at work who talks openly about the absence of her dear husband not because she is happy that he is no more, but because she misses him a great deal and her talking about him brings healing to her as we all know, healing is a process.

Dear family members, it's tough enough for her as she tries to navigate her way round the new changes, she is also dealing with the memories she shared with her husband and sometimes it gets all too much for her. Still she must stay strong and look after her children. The last thing she needs is more heart ache and pain from families and loved ones. Your full support will be deeply appreciated. Please, do remember she is the apple of Gods eyes and He will not allow anyone mistreat her. Watch out, God is aware and sees it all and will surely draw judgement upon you...Malachi 3:5

Have it at the back of your mind that widowhood isn't the end of her life line, its only a pause button. God is spending more time with her as He works it all out for her good and when He is done, she will rise again, stronger and greater and His name will be glorified. Whenever you have the opportunity to be a blessing to a widow please do it in love, she may be struggling and trying to get back on her feet. Don't make it harder for her, don't feel sorry for her either, just encourage her and help meet whatever need you can. God still has great use for her and she will finish well.

Sisters, this is to encourage you. Do not despair, God is still on the throne and He has you in his palms. Connect with His words, let his words become your pillar and understand what He says about you and never ever give up no matter what. God fought for the widow as this leader came to his senses, apologized and offered her support. A widow new to the path of widowhood and a widow who has walked the path for over 24years still faces similar challenges, however, it shouldn't be a hindrance to the kind of support we offer. Our job is to Love others without stopping to find out whether they deserve it or not.

"Above all Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful."Colossians 3:15