Friday 1 March 2013

CROSSROAD

Each person experiences giref differenly and the mourning period varies in different people, with religion, cultural and family background been the major factors. Mouring your husband should be a time for you to pay your last respect as a wife and to bring closure to the season you both shared. Its a very challenging period for any wife and even more challening when other factors affect the process. Some women are not prevalaged  to mourn in a peaceful environment because many are faced with all kinds of  negative treatment.  

 Like you i found it a challenge because I was stepping into a world of the unknown and i wasnt sure of what the next day, or weeks ahead would bring my way.  I wasn't even sure of my own reaction any longer. By Islamic rites, my husband had to be buried very quickly and his place of rest was very peaceful. After his funeral it became very clear my beloved husband was no more as i started to wear muted clothing, no make-up with minimal jewelry for a period of three months it was all part of the process for me and because of the love I had for my husband, it was important for  me to show my last respects to him. 

I trusted God to strengthen me some more as the days went by and so i held unto his words in Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through christ who's strength is within me" and so I had to process my pain first before I allowed anyone into my space.  When the mourning period came to an end I gathered my strength, and with the help of God put some changes to me. First from the inside then outwards. Ecclesiastes 3:4 "A time to weep and a time to laugh,a time to mourn and a time to dance." After the mourning period it was time to put away my mourning clothes, although some people burn theirs, i decided to keep mine and carry on with life.

 It was time to re-connect wi th the world and allow happiness back into my system something you will need as you get moving on with life. For me it was a case of looking my best at all times irrespective of the views others had I dressed well, smelt good and looked my best although not for anyone but myself. People began to share my testimony as they saw the hand of God on me the word out there was you really are looking so beautiful (see 2 Samuel 12:20) that was God taking care of his child. The truth is people may expect you to behave a certain way because they haven't walked in your shoes however what really matters is what God wants you to do. 

2 Corinthians 5:17

"That season with your husband has passed and ahead of you are new things, so why seat in that past if Christ is in you". Move ahead and be determined to be happy because that's God's plan for you. 
Some people expect you to wear muted clothing for the rest of your life and others expect you to walk around with your head bowed down as though the world was ending.  One thing is for sure these same people will wait around the corner to ask you why you are still stuck in mourning land and having pity parties instead of moving on, they will lead you to a crossroad and leave you.

 Fact: Which ever direction you take some people will never have anything great to say, so really you better do it God's way...

1 Corinthians 10:31

"Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."

My beloved sisters, before our husbands dismissal, God already had an assignment for us all and its our duty that we complete it. Don't allow people direct your life and then leave you limitless so that they can have fellowship while you have failure. 
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6 comments:

  1. Unknown1 March 2013 at 19:18

    Very on point!Move on sharply,don't be caged in the mourning period or state for life.Different strokes for different people.If it is an elderly widow (over 60years),she can decide to be sober for the rest of her years.A young widow has a really challenging life ahead of her.She is left to bear the burden of two people alone. Crucial decisions to be made...........serious dilemna.Whichever way,God is there to see us through and He will never leave not forsake us,amen.

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    1. Unknown2 March 2013 at 00:13

      So true and that is why she must be satisfied with only what God tells her and not man.

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  2. toyin1 March 2013 at 22:11

    Thank God for this piece.like i have said some where before i am still in the mourning stage this is the third month my husband died(Nov 30). I have been in this state for the past three months no makeup,no earrings no dressing well because of our environment(what will people say) they are the same who gave those advice, some even say all the clothings i put on at that period should be burnt. I became so confused and almost wanted to blame God for putting me in this condition.Prov 3;5 says i should trust in the lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding and in ALL MY WAYS I SHOULD ACKNOWLEDGE HIM.Wao! this geared me to the fact that am i acknowledging God this way or man,i now decided that after this 3 month i will acknowledge God in my looks not minding what anyone says as long as i please my God who has renamed me and remoulded me for his purpose.May God help us all.

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    1. Unknown2 March 2013 at 00:18

      God has given you the strength to do all things Philippians 4:13 so therefore take it. His grace will strengthen you when your mourning period comes to any end.

      You have to see it as a new beginning and be ready for that move. It is well sis.

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    2. toyin3 March 2013 at 07:41

      Thank you sis,surely i can do all things through Christ who gives me the strength.I have to move on and be blessing to other people and my children. May God keep us safe for his glory.Amen.

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    3. Unknown3 March 2013 at 09:28

      So true

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